thank you

Thank you

First I want to say thank you to Dildo Nightmares. Clearly this year has been hard for everyone. And for me, its the first time i’ve ever truly asked for help. And the first time I have genuinely and truly been this alone. 

I hate ever having to ask for help or support. Everyone says its okay to ask for help! But they don’t tell you that people may say no (something I “need” to learn to do but really don’t want too – If I can help  – I will)… or worse off just not even respond (but post 100 things on socials so you know they are on their phone).  That when you are at your lowest, ask for help abandoning the last shred of respect you had for yourself… and then face rejection…. 

thanksgiving on social media felt weird to me yesterday. Like yes im grateful for what I have but I would trade it all for the world to not be so messed up. how can I be grateful for my health when so many cant bc of the actions of others.

BUT ANYWAYS – when I had to make a new page… Dildo nightmares immediately was all in to help spread the word. I guess we both run D*ck pages so I should have known they were my people. But the kind of love and support that I like to give, I never thought I would receive, especially from a stranger during a pandemic.  To feel heard. To have someone so down for an idea (and on top of it with spreadsheets and everything). They were totally into the contest idea. While I repeatedly asked their goals, they were in it for the cause & thought it would be fun. (And we have so many surprises along the way…. I am super analytical with marketing but I have a new page and DN has been just for fun – so any feedback is appreciated!!!)

I am sending out the e cards to all my subs everyone who entered on the form… I have them on my etsy store for 50% off right now and any $ I will split with DN. BUT anyone who entered VIA email will get them free….I am so thankful to anyone who is here and understands the message. I am so thankful for every like, comment, share, that truly makes such a difference…. Im so thankful that you get rebuilding at this time.

And I will be eternally grateful for Dildo Nightmares, who gave me hope in humanity at a time when I lost it. Who has shown me love, who has listened to me beyond just “business” (sorry I talk alot). Thats the energy I love. The energy I give bc I want people to know what it feels like, and the energy I really needed at the moment to continue. 

5 am 11/ 28?

I started writing this yesterday and then my dicksgiving post got community guidelines (and restored) on tik tok. And I HATE that socials are the only way to interact with people. I hate that I shut down when things go wrong, but its bc there is so much REAL shit, that this sometimes feels like a waste of energy. (The amount of people ive lost / the texts saying I want to d*e is overwhelming) But I remember the smiles that people have. How badly I want to normalize, destigmatize, listen and learn. And for even just knowing Dildo Nightmares exists, I am so grateful. Support their page. once again my thoughts are a mess. If anyone else has experienced as much loss and I have … my heart is with you. tomorrow is a writing and content day.

Also – I keep getting email contest entries so will send the ecards tomorrow bc im still v new to WordPress – thank you for being patient with me. We are sooo excited about these creations!!!!!!!!

BUT REALLY JUST THANK YOU TO DILDO NIGHTMARES <3. thats the only point. when trying to make a gratitude list last night.. that was the #1. Thankful not bc they posted on socials. BC they treat this with compassion, not just transactional .. kk now im rambling goodnight much love

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