I am not a d*CK

** I started this the day before the vice interview…does anyone else have so many thoughts at all times they wish that some robot chip could transcribe them? LIKE IF THEY ARE PUTTING A CHIP IN THE VACCINE (JK PLZ IM KIDDING… I BELIEVE IN SCIENCE… but I would take that one). But am getting back to it now – this was prompted by the “WHO ARE YOU question… and I have had …. ROLLING THOUGHTS about that….

As someone who consults people on building brands for a living, there are KEY things I think are important if you want to be an AUTHENTIC brand. Now I actually have no desire to be a brand. This started off as something silly – but then I realized how important it was not only to me, but to so many others. I realized how much shame there was around anyone besides a straight male expressing their sexuality. I began to learn how poor sex education is in most of the world. As someone who has always been very up front about my views of sexuality –  (and I know I am extreme – something that as I have learned more about other peoples perspectives – there are certain topics that I need to be more “gentle about). BUT I have always seen it like this. Females – have examples of someone who has got their foot through the door. But – its not the same. In order to show people the inequality – sometimes you have to be super loud – and once people realize it wasn’t the end of the world, its easier for the next person…. And here I am getting off topic… My views on feminism/ internalized misogyny (which I discovered through this account & convos I have had will come soon).

But anyways – The past 7 months especially, I have been thinking alot about the fact that no-one truly knows who you are…everything you have been through that has shaped your knowledge, your opinions, your biases. I am not the same person I was when I started this page in 2019. So does the history matter? In reposting images (which once again ADHD AF and did not do this organized) a part of me wanted the same grid, the same order. BUT also – I had started to use this page to explore my thoughts and beliefs, express social justice. SO some of the “funny ones” dont feel right at this moment. Other pieces, are not my best skill wise – but I did them ASAP to be timely with a message. The message is important to me – but the conversation has changed. Also – when I started this – I lived for Casual sex. And I wanted to change the stigma that girls weren’t capable of that. I have been isolated for so long, that I crave intimacy – but also – on a health level – casual sex is a whole diff topic – I want to talk about this this as well!!!!) So like – I love some of my OG captions. But do they represent me today? And can I even advocate that same notion at this second…

Does it matter everything I have thought? Do you need that info? It’s a level of understanding for sure. The growth (of art, of puns).

But in this state of the world we are never going to move forward unless we accept others when they present a better version of themselves. Embrace growth, and continue to push people forward until there is no hate, no prejudice and true equality. But then with equality – should I even be pushing my voice and creations?

SO WHO AM I?

… if I am to answer who am I at this very point in time – the answer is – very lost. Or to reframe that, someone who believes in love and kindness, in doing the right thing, that putting yourself first doesnt need to HARM others, that we need to make sacrifices for the greater good, who believes in challenging stigmas in learning, in always growing, and that everyone is capable of this as well. Without knowing how someone came to their beliefs, you cant judge them, or challenge them effectively.

One one hand, I have never felt so strongly about some of my decisions. I am very invested in creating change, socially, politically. I believe in science. I have such a vision on the conversations I want to have, the people I want to be surrounded by.

On the other – I am so mad at the world for being so selfish. I have been through SO much (as has everyone). I feel like doing anything “personal” is a waste of energy, but I made a promise to myself that after the election, I would put a level of attention into my project that I have given to making so many other peoples dreams come true (that is VERY VERY hard for me… im doing my best though.

At this point in time – I want genuine connections – which can only be made through conversation and understanding. I also want people to have a reason to smile, which I know my art did for many for some amount of time.

I want to make a difference, and this platform was my voice. I want to find people that want to converse about the same topics. I want to raise awareness of what Is important. And yes, I want to make art.

Also is anyone else having trouble doing anything for themselves during this state of the world? Id love to put together an accountability/ challenge group! Or even just a zoom where we can all work “alone” but together?

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